The cervical spine is particularly delicate. Putting significant body weight on the neck while it is hyper-flexed can lead to severe injury.

Before we dive in, please remember that attempting to self-suck is not a feasible or safe goal. Our bodies aren't designed for such acrobatic stunts, and trying to do so could result in injury. This post is meant to be light-hearted and humorous, not a serious instructional guide.

Raise your legs and walk your feet down the wall toward your head to gradually bring your genitals closer to your mouth.